In the past, my friends and I used to bring mega-sized packs of the diapers when visiting girlfriends who had just given birth, thinking they were the perfect gift. These days, it’s more complicated. What if our carefree, swill-swigging, table-top dancing partner-in-crime has turned into an environmentalist mum who prefers natural, preferably organic fabrics for her baby’s bottom?

What do you give for a baby shower, the baby’s first-month celebration, or first birthday? Gifts, red packets (ang pows), or both? And if it’s just a red packet, how much is enough? We asked these mums to tell us.

Aelina Senitro, 38, self-employed and mum to two boys aged 10 and 1, and a girl, 8

Gifts: My rule of thumb is to choose essential items and plan ahead. For example, if it’s a first-month celebration, buy clothes in a bigger size (for a seven to eight-month-old). Choose toys that can be used as the baby grows, like a ride-on car I received when my son was one month old. Gift vouchers are practical too, as parents can use them for needed items amidst all the expenses.

Ang pows: It is difficult to put down an exact amount as it depends on your financial situation and how close you are to the other person. My range is between $50 and $150.

Best baby gift I received: The best gifts were visits to the hospital by my friends and relatives. One of my ex-colleagues actually cooked her special pig trotters one week in advance for me! I also love receiving vouchers best as this gives me flexibility to buy what’s needed.

Su-yen, 38, fund controller and mum to a boy, 5, and a girl, 1

Gifts: For a baby shower, I’d give the mum pre- and post-natal massage vouchers. For the baby’s first month celebration, a baby sling or carrier. For baby’s first birthday, baby walking shoes? For baby’s baptism, a baby bible/devotional. These were the things that I felt were very useful for myself!

Ang pows: For good friends, $100. For relatives, $50. For acquaintances and colleagues, $50 as well. These seem to be comfortable appropriate sums.

The best baby gift I received was a baby carrier! I’m a sling supporter, from the Moms In Mind sarong sling to the Baby Bjorn carrier, and now my trusty Ergo!

Shao Jun, 36, writer and editor, mum to a girl aged 2

Gifts: For a baby shower, I’d give a practical baby carrier to promote bonding. For the baby’s first month celebration, a hand blender is helpful for making healthy, pureed food. For the baby’s first birthday, a stack of board books promotes learning.

Ang pows: From $60 for acquaintances and colleagues to $100 for good friends and relatives.

The best baby gift I received: A Graco Pack-N-Play. We use it every time we travel!

Jann Ng, 42, entrepreneur and mum to a girl, 12, and a boy, 8

Gifts: For a baby shower a breast milk pump or a bottle sterilizer. For the baby’s first month celebration a baby food maker for making puree and/or a hamper with chicken essence and tonics for mummy. For baby’s first birthday baby’s clothing and/or infant toys. For baby’s baptism a Christian book on parenting.

Ang pows: From $20 for home celebrations to $40 for hotel celebrations to $100 for good friends or up to $200 for good friends with financial difficulties.

The best baby gift I received was a baby Cot. It’s a necessity and it lasted for a few years.

Charlene Lim, 36, moderator and mum to a girl, 5, and a boy, 3

Gifts: For a baby shower, I’d give a diaper cake since babies need lots of diapers. For the baby’s first month, I’d choose clothes because they outgrow them quickly. By the first birthday, I’d buy developmental toys for the keen explorer. For baptism, a pretty photo frame to hold baptism photos.

Ang pows: Good friends and relatives get $80-$100, acquaintances and colleagues get $60.
The best baby gift I received was my kids’ names cross-stitched by a close friend. The fact that this was handmade made it more meaningful.

Wendy Chew, 31, founder of My Little Shoppers and mum to a girl aged 3

Gifts: The best baby shower gifts are useful items like diapers, baby wipes, a playmat, or a cot mobile. For second-time moms, check what they already have. For a baby’s first birthday, choose gifts that develop fine motor skills and language, like shape sorters, stackers, ride-on vehicles, and walkers. For a baptism, consider a Baby’s First Bible or a blanket embroidered with the baby’s name and baptism date, as this event signifies a religious commitment and is very special for Christian families.

Ang pows: Ang pow rates usually vary between very good friends and acquaintances. If unsure what gifts to buy, an ang pow is a good option, typically ranging from $18 to $100. If the parents are hosting a buffet celebration, be sure to give enough to cover the cost.

The best baby gift I received: The best baby gift I received was a handmade bunny stuffed toy. It was made by my colleague in the United States. She sewed it all by herself and shipped it when my daughter, who was born in the year of the rabbit!

Agnes Ng, 34, Principal and mum to two children aged 3 and 5 years

Gifts: For a baby shower, give presents to pamper the mum, like a massage package. For the baby’s first-month celebration and first birthday, choose educational toys. For the baby’s baptism, Bible storybooks are ideal.
Ang pows: 

$50 for acquaintances/colleagues and $100 for good friends and relatives. The best baby gift I received was a Combi baby chair with wheels. It was useful and durable, allowing me to move it around the house while doing chores. My baby could lie down in it to sleep or sit up for meals.