Pregnancy can sometimes bring your body to places that may be difficult to bounce back from. Here’s how you can accept your body at any size and love the skin you’re in.
WORDS RACHEL LIM
Most (normal) women don’t look perfect after having a baby. We have conferred some badges of honour from pregnancy, labour, delivery, breastfeeding and pumping. Typically, these include stretch marks, Caesarean scars, flattened/oversized/uneven-sized/saggy boobs, postpartum hair loss, dental problems from calcium loss, extra pounds and love handles hanging over our jeans, just to name a few. While there are tonnes of fashion and make-up tips out there on how to fake a perfect figure and flawless skin, it is high time to truly love the skin we are in, from the inside out!
Get Rid of Toxic People in Your Life
Do you find yourself dealing with toxic friends, family members or colleagues who, be it consciously or not, are sabotaging your happiness and growth? Often with their seemingly harmless words or comments about your appearance, these toxic people put you down, make you feel lousy, cause you to second-guess yourself, make you feel sad, uncomfortable and downright ashamed of your own progress and well-being. They set unrealistic expectations of you and are capable of manipulating you into fits of rage against yourself. If this is your predicament, it is high time to extend the season of spring cleaning! Spring clean the relationships you have with these toxic people. Create a little distance or cut them out totally. Remember: Don’t let anyone or their words rent space in your head unless they are good tenants!
Rekindle Your First Love(s)
Have you forgotten some of the ways of loving yourself? Return to the hobbies and talents you may have had before becoming a mum! Get back to some of your favourite things-to-do: baking, art/music jamming, floristry, trekking, diving or knitting! Reconnect with some of your first roles: a daughter, a sister, a friend, a wife, a mentee or a mentor. Set aside time for these dearest and nearest people of yours. Come up with a fun bucket list: volunteer, go on an expedition or take up a challenge. When we begin to look beyond skin-deep, we shake off a sense of egocentrism and entitlement. We begin to exude a sense of confidence and gratitude which is so attractive!
Has your lack of confidence in your post-pregnancy body crept into the bedroom? Communication with the hub is key. Let each other know gently and openly: the love languages you need and speak; what turns you on; and what are the sexual insecurities and inadequacies you may have. Research and surveys have shown that lovemaking reduces stress, makes one feel younger, more energetic and healthier. A passionate and active sex life will certainly help you feel good and desirable!
Dear Mommas, if you do not take control of your mind, someone or something else will. Do not let the world tell you otherwise – you are beautiful and it’s true!