Experts Say: Bringing Up Twins

Are your twins going to school soon? Read on for some tips from the expert.


We have put our twin toddlers, who are three, in a preschool but they do not want to mingle with the other kids. We are thinking of putting them in separate classrooms but we’re not too keen.

Please help!


It is not surprising that your twins want to spend a lot of their time with each other. The bond between twins is a very special one that transcends mere genetics. This strong emotional bond together with a strong familiarity of each other will tend to make them want to spend time with each other almost exclusively.


Regarding the hesitation in placing them in separate classes, it is important to know what the parental hesitations are. If parents are concerned about emotionally harming them by physically separating them, then do not worry. As long as they (the twins) have a good attachment to each other and have the opportunity to spend time with each other outside school, then it may be a good idea having them in separate classes.


Identical Does Not Mean the Same

Just because they are identical genetically, it does not mean they are the same. It is one thing to be confused with other over physical features, it is another thing when two individuals are assumed to be the same emotionally and psychologically – something that will become increasingly frustrating for them as they grow older. Leading ‘separate’ lives will enable the twins to develop their own sense of uniqueness, autonomy, and self-worth.


They should not be forced to do everything separately but letting them ‘be themselves’ and giving them the opportunity to grow in their own ‘private space’ is one important step towards helping them establish their own self-identity. 


Ultimately, however, parents know their kids best and while it is generally a good idea to have them in separate classes, unique factors may compel parents to choose to have them in the same class at this early age.



Question answered by:

Dr Penny Tok

Chartered Psychologist

Developmental and Educational

Dr Penny Tok Psychology Practice

Thanks for sharing!